“… But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.”
James 1:19-20 NASU
Why do we get angry?
Let’s stop a moment and think about it.
Is it because we feel that we’ve been wronged? Or do we just enjoy the sensation of our hackles rising and blood boiling?
The bible calls us to be open to hearing others out and not reacting right away, most especially when we are in a state of anger. The Greek word used for the word anger is orgeen, from the root word orge (pronounced or-gay’), which means justifiable abhorrence and violent passion or ire.
Most often than not, we get angry when we feel that we have been justifiably wronged. They have been warned.
They still repeated it.
I now have the right to get angry at them.
And more often than not, we do have the right to get mad (or at least we think we do) and act in our anger. That is what the passage in James is counseling us on. We should be slow to anger and speak and quick to hear.
The word used for hear in the Greek is akousai that means to understand. When we are angry, we have a tendency to react right away and say things or do things without even understanding the other party’s side. Most long lasting conflicts start because of this. One side wants to explain his side but the other already has come up of conclusions and prefers not to hear out the offending party (subconsciously because there are already preconceived notions in mind). So many broken relationships and friendship could have been avoided if only the angry party would have taken time to listen, understand and forgive the offending party.
Come to think of it, what are the things that go on through our mind when we are angry that keeps us from taking time out to understand the other party? And when I say understand, that doesn’t mean just hearing them out then forcing your own preconceived idea or conclusion on the matter. It means to really be open to what the other person has to say, and even apologize for your own shortcomings that have contributed to it. If we can identify those things, we have a starting point on which we can improve our handling of our anger.
In retrospect, this is what this verse is simply saying:
“… But everyone must be quick to akousai [understand], slow to speak and slow to orgeen[justifiably ired]; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.”
This aspect of character is not an option for us. It is a must. As Christians, we are implicitly commanded to be open and understanding in conflict and to be slow to lash out and react when we do reach the point of anger. The verse doesn’t say that we are not to get angry ever. Instead, it shows us how we are to react to justifiable conflict. In a nutshell, it just provides the best relational anger management process:
- Take time to understand the offending party.
- Do not react, instead proact.
- Exercise and develop patience and grace.
For some of you, this may be old news. Something you’ve been practicing since the world was black and white. Keep on in your faith! For others, this may be a constant struggle; a battle that constantly is engaged. God has granted you the grace and strength to overcome it! Even to some this may be a new facet on dealing with anger and irritation. Try it and see the difference it makes in you and your relationships. And for all of us, let us strive to keep on practicing and obeying this command.
