Read John 15:9-10, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
“This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you.”
John 15:12 NASU
Flowers, heart shaped chocolates and whatnots dominate the local scenery as the entire of Metro Manila kicks into the valentines’ mode. Cupids and cherubs adorn the fast food store counters and hang from the ceilings. Colorful, love themed artworks are painted on glass windows and stuffed toys are selling like anything.
This is the Month of Love. Today is Valentines’ day. The day that the majority of the world stops whatever they are doing and focuses on the facet of life called love. A lot say that love is a universal language. Is it?
What is love to you?
Now what does love mean to the person beside you? Is it exactly the same thing?
I remember arguing in my Philosophy class in university that Love is not based on emotion and is not abstract. It was literally me against the entire class back then.
True, love is not a purely dry and logical experience. Actually, love’s experience is based on a conscious decision. The feeling is purely icing on top. It heightens the experience and may help or work against you decision to love.
The world has come up with a “modern” cultural definition of love that is so self-centered: I cannot love others if I do not love myself first. The love that media, and “modern, educated” culture present is a self-satisfying love that puts my needs and welfare before others. Let’s be honest with ourselves if not with other people; why do you love your spouse or boy/girl friend? What does he or she offer to you or see in him/her that makes you feel complete or good about yourself? Or is it because you can offer her something? Do you love that person because of certain things or despite certain things?
More often than not, we “love” a person because we are either satisfied or gratified in one way or another, without giving much thought to the other person. It is important to get what I want. The other person’s needs are secondary. In my years of being a peer counselor in university, all the relationships of people who suffered from problems in their love life usually boil down to a perceived failure of the expectation of the other person. Here is a little fact of reality: A person will always fail your expectations at one point in your life or another.
Among the men I’ve had the opportunity to talk to, the common reason why they “love” their girlfriend is because they are beautiful, shapely and pleasing to look at and show around. I have yet to be able to converse with ladies and women in the same depth and transparency I’ve had with the men, but the common qualities they saw in their boy friends were: “he makes me feel like I am important.” “He takes care of me.” These next two answers didn’t hit as high as the first two, but I’ll include them because the reasoning is somewhat interesting: “He takes me home” and “I don’t know.”
Most relational break ups among teens I’ve counseled are usually because one or the other has failed to meet up to the expected standards of the other person’s need. Or one or both of them just got bored with their pre- marital sex life.
But God has a different take on love. He calls us to love others just as Jesus loves us. Now maybe you are wondering “how on earth am I going to know how Jesus loved me?!” Well that’s why there is the bible.
In John 15:9-11, Jesus gives us His paradigm on love:
“Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love. If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father's commandments and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full.”
The first statement displays a very concrete and logical truth, found in everyday life: You can only give what you have. Jesus loved us, JUST AS GOD THE FATHER HAS LOVED HIM. In the 15th chapter of John, Jesus describes how He has experienced the love of the Father.
A certain guy wrote a simplification of God’s take on love. Ever since reading it, I’ve used it to check myself and my motives of saying that I “love” a person. He says that love is patient. It is kind and is not jealous. It doesn’t brag or boast or is arrogant. Love does not act rudely (or in disrespect), it doesn’t put its wants and desires above or before others. It does not cause one to be easily angered nor does it keep a record of wrongs or bitterness. It does not tolerate evil but rejoice in the truth. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Paul had a good grip on what God’s paradigm on love was. He wrote that down in his first letter to the Corinthians.
That is the kind of love God has intended for us to experience and practice. And to do that kind of love takes a conscious decision to practice it as such. Let me set it clear that I am not saying that love should be purely a charity case. It isn’t and shouldn’t be. All I am presenting is that Love, in the truest sense of the word, has been twisted and augmented as time passed. What the world offers isn’t love. It’s just a pathetic and poor imitation of it. But since that is the environment we grew up in, that is the only type of love we know of. But that love is made available to you. All you have to do is ask for it from God. He will be more than willing to love you, because believe me, He has loved you in eternity past. We just don’t even consider seeking and asking for the Love He gives. More often than not we are content on feasting and desiring for the poor imitation. That’s the reason why the love we love others with is an imitation as well. Surrender to God’s love and see the difference.
