We live in a society that highly prioritizes convenience. Things that make life easier. More bang for your buck kinda things. Technology aims to make things highly customizable and multifunctional. Before, mobile phones were big bulky, fiendish looking things that remind me of a handheld ice shaver with little orange screens that display only the numbers. Now, we have multifunctional mobiles that allow you to surf the net, take pictures, update your blogspot and play your mp3s.
Television started out as these black and white boob tubes that displayed only a couple of channels, now we have cable plasma flat screen TVs that display up to 4 (or more) channels simultaneously. Some sets even provide multilingual subtitles. Others come packaged as a home theater system.
The internet and radio stations have joined forces to tailor their broadcasts to your taste. Think a band sucks? Ban them from your station. Love that singer? Place her as a top priority on your preference list. Even some supermarkets and restaurants deliver to your home via internet.
Can't think of a recipe to cook for your fiance? Search the net.
Technology, customer care and the search for the ultimate lifestyle has created a push-button, fast paced, easy living culture.
And honestly, there isn't anything wrong with that.
What IS wrong is that alot of people tend to expect their relationships to follow the same description nowadays. The sanctity of marraige is seen as a traditional, old school concept that does not fit with the "global" way of thought. I've encountered an increase in young people who laugh at the idea of marraige. Apparently, they are more into a trial and error kind of mindset.
"Let's try this relationship. Let's live together. Act as of man and wife but not with the legal responsibilities nor commitments. If it doesn't work out, then lets just pack up and get on with our seperate lives."
Convenience. It's the one thing in life that will never be part of a true, loving, selfless relationship.
Why?
Simply because no true relationship that exists is founded on convenience. Like all relationships, there will always be a honey moon stage (no matter how short) and people tend to close their eyes to(or hide) the imperfections they carry. When the storm hits, so does the reality of the other person's character. Since life does seem to give a ctrl+alt+del solution, it seems logical, and I must say easy, to apply it to one's horrific and seemingly unsalvageable nightmare of a relationship. I mean, why try to fix it when there are a dozen other better looking, financialy stabler men who would are wooing or will woo you right? (Its something like the don't-fix-it-cause-its-gonna-cost-more-than-buy-a-new-one-mentality)
The rate of changing intimate relationships among young people(and some yuppies) is only second to the rate mobile phone models are being manufactured.
Before I go any further, I want to make it clear that I am not against, nor am I attacking the way technology has made our life easier, more comfortable and convenient. What I am concerned about is that the value on relationships are slowly being degraded to the same level as, let's say, the newest mp3 player or the newest MMORPG.
Now, Im not blaming anyone for causing this. What I am saying is that the beauty and romance of an intimate realtionship, and the security and steadfastness overcoming relational problems together is being traded in for the convenience of just breaking up and looking for another boy or girl to satisfy your desire for companionship (and as in most cases, thanks to the cultural change media has programed, physical satisfaction as well).
At the rate this is increasing, I won't be surprised if relationships will be viewed as nothing more than a mere commodity. A product. And when that happens, relationships shall be viewed under the same manner as one views technological products: on the basis of convenience and service it gives the consumer.
If you are in a relationship right now or is hoping to get into one, I really do hope and pray that you value it enought to see it beyond the the storms of life a couple will go through.
Alot of people experience heartbreak and realtional trauma needlessly. Quantity will never equate to quality. Most specially if it is an intimate relationship.
The best way to avoid heartbreak is never to enter a relationship without marraige (to the same person) as the ultimate goal. Forgive me for stating this but a young man told me that he does intend in marrying, hence the relationship, but not with the current girl he was with...
Remember that relationships should never be about only satisfying your needs and wants. Love is never selfish, it is selfless. Accept it or not, but an intimate relationship is also a partnership. A partnership of two lives aiming to make a new one together. A partnership that CHOOSES to love the other despite the fact that the feeling is gone. You can truly sa you love a person if you can say "I love you inspite of..." rather than "I love you because..."
It shouldn't be only about taking, it should be about giving as well.
A true, honest relationship requires two people to communicate honestly with each other. Trust, which is a corner stone in any relationship, can never be achieved without honesty. So many relationships have fallen apart because of the lack of honesty, the lack of trust and simply the lack of communication. Remember that your partner is not a mind reader. Keeping quiet when you are hurt or offended will not deal with the cause of it. Speak up. But remember to time it properly.
Never ever enter into a relationship if you can never fully accept the other person in his or her entirety. A relationship should not force change, but rather create the environment in which change will come naturally.
Sex IS an act of love. It should be done willingly and under the mantle of marraige. Having sex before marraige is becoming the norm as of the last couple of decades. The classic line of "if you love me, then..." has gotten more women divirginized than married. Ladies, if he says that he loves you but can't wait to make love to you, I think you should reasses his statement. If he really loves you, he won't force you to do something you don't want to do. If he is persistent despite the fact that you really don't want to, he lusts you more than he loves you. If you feel the need to satisfy your physical desire and consent to premarital sex, just remember that to every decision there is a resulting consequence, it doesn't always have to physical. And you don't always pays the full price. Honestly, I think there are enough aborted babies and single mothers in the world already.
My friend once told me that loving a person is an act of sacrifice. It got me thinking. Would you view it as an act of sacrifice because you love the person or an act of love? True, sacrifice is a great part of love in any relationship. But does the person in love view it that way?
Like I said earlier, relationships aren't meant for convenience, nor should it be treated in the same way as you would your PC. Relationships aren't meant to be discarded when it starts to hit the rough seas, nor will the trial and error mentality see you through this. Relationships are to be cared for and valued, founded on honesty, trust and love. It should be fought for (if it comes to it) and weathered together. Be it an intimate relationship, which ultimately ends in marraige or your usual let's-hang-together-on-fridays stint, how you handle your relationship shows how you value them.
How would you want people to value you?
