Justifiable Anger

“… But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.”

James 1:19-20 NASU

What are the synonyms we can think of to the word anger?

Why do we get angry?

Let’s stop a moment and think about it.

Is it because we feel that we’ve been wronged? Or do we just enjoy the sensation of our hackles rising and blood boiling?

The bible calls us to be open to hearing others out and not reacting right away, most especially when we are in a state of anger. The Greek word used for the word anger is orgeen, from the root word orge (pronounced or-gay’), which means justifiable abhorrence and violent passion or ire.

Most often than not, we get angry when we feel that we have been justifiably wronged. They have been warned.

They still repeated it.

I now have the right to get angry at them.

And more often than not, we do have the right to get mad (or at least we think we do) and act in our anger. That is what the passage in James is counseling us on. We should be slow to anger and speak and quick to hear.

The word used for hear in the Greek is akousai that means to understand. When we are angry, we have a tendency to react right away and say things or do things without even understanding the other party’s side. Most long lasting conflicts start because of this. One side wants to explain his side but the other already has come up of conclusions and prefers not to hear out the offending party (subconsciously because there are already preconceived notions in mind). So many broken relationships and friendship could have been avoided if only the angry party would have taken time to listen, understand and forgive the offending party.

Come to think of it, what are the things that go on through our mind when we are angry that keeps us from taking time out to understand the other party? And when I say understand, that doesn’t mean just hearing them out then forcing your own preconceived idea or conclusion on the matter. It means to really be open to what the other person has to say, and even apologize for your own shortcomings that have contributed to it. If we can identify those things, we have a starting point on which we can improve our handling of our anger.

In retrospect, this is what this verse is simply saying:

“… But everyone must be quick to akousai [understand], slow to speak and slow to orgeen[justifiably ired]; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.”

This aspect of character is not an option for us. It is a must. As Christians, we are implicitly commanded to be open and understanding in conflict and to be slow to lash out and react when we do reach the point of anger. The verse doesn’t say that we are not to get angry ever. Instead, it shows us how we are to react to justifiable conflict. In a nutshell, it just provides the best relational anger management process:

1. Take time to understand the offending party.
2. Do not react, instead proact.
3. Exercise and develop patience and grace.

For some of you, this may be old news. Something you’ve been practicing since the world was black and white. Keep on in your faith! For others, this may be a constant struggle; a battle that constantly is engaged. God has granted you the grace and strength to overcome it! Even to some this may be a new facet on dealing with anger and irritation. Try it and see the difference it makes in you and your relationships. And for all of us, let us strive to keep on practicing and obeying this command.

The Forgiveness of Love

Read
Matthew 18:23-27

`The LORD is slow to anger, abounding in love and forgiving sin and rebellion.’
Num 14:18a NIV

Forgiveness.

One of the easiest things said, but among the hardest things done. In the first place, why should we forgive? We’ve been wronged. We’ve been hurt. We’ve been unjustly treated and now it’s payback time. It’s time that they pay for what they’ve done to us. We want justice and we want it now. Eye for an eye right?

That got me thinking. What would our world be if there was no forgiveness? Stop a moment and think about it. Imagine a world where people just keep on bottling up every little thing they think or perceive done against them, and eventually get even with the person. How long would our specie exist before it spirals down in to oblivion because everybody has something against somebody and they want payback. Surely, a viscous cycle will emerge, capturing everybody in the web of its anger and hatred.

Even when I was a child, I learned a simple rule in life that has been in my heart ever since. It has affected my view on life, my relationship and even with my self: You cannot give what you do not have. I cannot share a burger with a person if I don’t have a burger myself. You cannot give $10 to charity if you don’t have at least $10.

Spiritually and relationally that applies too. We cannot give true love because we ourselves have yet to have true love. We cannot completely forgive because we have not been forgiven ourselves. Yes we strive to love honestly and purely. We try to forgive all the wrong that person has done to us (or at least we think they’ve done to us…) and we’ve even gone to the extent of reciting the mantra “I’ve forgiven & I’ve forgotten… I’ve forgiven & I’ve forgotten… I’ve forgiven & I’ve forgotten…” then when we see the person or see something that reminds us of that hurt all the memories and emotions of that moment come rushing back at us.

Luke 7:47 puts it nicely: He who has been forgiven little loves little. Forgiveness is born out of love. They go hand in hand with each other. As our capacity to love others increases, so does our ability to forgive others.

Well Magoo, you’ve said it. I haven’t been loved enough when I was a kid I guess. Until now, I don’t think I’ve ever been loved enough to allow me to forgive what THAT person did to me!

I’d beg to disagree. A guy named John said that because God loved YOU so much that he gave his only Son to die for your shortcomings. He said that God sent his Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for our sins. Yours & mine included. Personally, I don’t think that anybody could love me and accept me more than that. That could be found in John 3:16. So you see, you are loved beyond measure and you are completely forgiven. No strings attached. No mantras needed. No more effort.

When we are faced with a situation that calls us to forgive, and we feel that the person does not deserve our forgiveness in any way gnaw on this question: Am I worthy to receive God’s forgiveness?

“But that person lied to me!”

Haven’t you ever lied to God?

“He made fun of me and what I’ve done!”

So you’ve never made fun of God or what He has done for you?

“She played with my emotions and hurt me!”

Your sins haven’t hurt God then?

“But some one needs to pay for the hurt I’ve received!”

Yes. Someone has paid for it. Jesus Christ.

The currency used? Blood. His blood.

The price? His life.

The clincher is, Jesus never complained about the price He paid for you. He loves you and forgave you. And if it were needed again, he wouldn’t hesitate to forgive you again. And again. And again.

You’ve been forgiven much. Now shouldn’t we forgive in the same manner as we have been forgiven?

Keeping Clear of Compromise

Read Psalm 119:1-16

“How can a young man keep his way pure?
By living according to your word.
I seek you with all my heart;
do not let me stray from your commands.
I have hidden your word in my heart
That I might not sin against you”

Psalm 119:9-11 NIV

It’s amazing how a nation’s standard of morals and ethics have changed in slightly over a decade.
In the name of freedom of speech, some writers incorporate cuss words and highly graphic descriptions of sex and its many perversions in their daily place in the tabloids and their little niche in the magazine industry. Not to mention the endless variations of songs spanning a lot of genres that only voice out violence, death, depression and hopelessness. Not to mention the rate of how the name of Jesus and God is disrespected and profaned.
In the name of art, it is okay to produce magazines of scantily clad women (yes, there are magazines portraying men in the same state of undress), nude infact, and go so far as even taking pictures of men and women having sexual intercourse. What has happened to the sanctity of the marriage bed? To the beauty of a God blessed union of man and woman? What has happened to the respect given to God’s greatest and most beloved creation: man?
So many young people are now caught in the push and pull of this post-modernist society and its culture of values, values so different from God. Values totally on the opposite side of what God has presented. Even Christian teens and young professionals are getting sucked in to this mad whirlwind of compromise and sin. With this rise in a post-modern set of values and core ethics we also have a rise in teenage pregnancies (getting younger on the average each year), we have women (and men) actually wanting to be commodified (and by commodified I mean treated as an object to appreciated and depreciated as the economy or market dictates). We have men and women giving into the pressures of pre-marital sex, drugs, alcohol and even domestic violence. Families are torn apart. Relationships are shattered.
Experts point towards the increase in revenue and development in our country, but is there not a rise in all these problems as well?
David has presented us with the way how to deal with this. Being a king, he was all for country and nation development and revenue increase, but he never allowed a compromise in the values and laws set down by God to take place.
He cites that in order for us to not stray from God’s laws, we must live according to God’s Word. He goes on to emphasize that we should 1) seek God with all our heart. To seek means to actively search. It means there must be an effort on our part. How often do we read God’s word? And; 2) hide God’s word in our heart. To hide would mean that we keep it safe from being snatched away. In effect, after we read God’s word, do we keep it safe and apply it in our daily life or do we “lose” it at the first sign of a favorable compromise? David knew that it would be a struggle on his part that why he asked God to not let him stray from God’s commands that he might not sin against God.
This is truer for us today. Our struggle isn’t merely against flesh and blood but against rulers and principalities of a fallen world. Perhaps we are already struggling with a sin mentioned above. Maybe you feel that it is hopeless and that God would not forgive you. Psalm 119:37 tells us that if we “Turn [our] eyes away from worthless things; renew [our] life according to [His] word.” We need to repent and turn our ways from sin, and God will be more than willing to forgive us. We just need to let go of it and let God take control. The question is: are you willing?

When God Seems He Doesn’t Care

Moreover, I will make My dwelling among you, and My soul will not reject you. I will walk among you and be your God, and you shall be My people.

Leviticus 26:11-12

Ever feel that sometimes we just aren’t close to God? It’s as if this great chasm has formed and God simply ceased to care and love us. It’s as if our prayers just hit the ceiling and bounce back and our quiet time is really quiet. It’s too quiet because God’s word doesn’t seem to speak to us.

Is it possible that our God has stopped caring for us?

That is what Satan wants us to believe. He is painting God as some callous deity that only cares for Himself: a God that doesn’t care for His creation.

On the contrary, the bible tells us otherwise. In Leviticus alone it tells us that our God is a relational God. He is not some distant greater being that doesn’t care for His creation. He is a God that resides in the praises of His people (11a). He is not some judgmental being that has such high standards that we cannot approach Him or cry out to Him. In fact, He is a God who accepts the fullness of who we are despite of what we’ve done.(11b)

Our God is not some universal energy source that doesn’t have any conscious knowledge that you exist and allows things to happen randomly. Rather, He is a God who desires to be involved in your everyday life, a God who knows you by Name (12a). Our God is a God that loves you so much He sent Jesus to die for your sins and mine. He claims us as His own. He did not sit idly by and let the devil take us and allow us to be slaves to sin. Our God paid the ultimate price to redeem us: by sending Jesus to be born, live a sinless life and die on the cross for His people (12b).

In those two verses alone, the love of our God is captured and presented. How can we believe the lies of the devil?

Maybe there is something that we have done or are doing that is keeping us from experiencing and encountering the power and presence of God in our daily life. Let’s search our heart and ask God to allow us to be honest with ourselves. Let’s acknowledge our sins and ask for forgiveness. Our God is sure to meet us where we are, as we are.

Im Not Worthy!

Read: 2 Timothy 2:14-26

“If a man cleanses himself from the latter, he will be an instrument for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work. Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.”
2 Tim 2:21-22 NIV

One of my greatest fears before I joined the Music Ministry of my previous church was that I wasn’t as good enough as all the other people in the Praise and Worship Team. I knew I wasn’t good enough musically. I wasn’t that well versed in the Bible. The only Bible verse I knew by heart was John 3:16 and that was it! Sure I grew up in Sunday school, didn’t smoke, didn’t do anything that would cause my parents to disown me. But somehow, somewhere, there was this voice at the back of my head that reminded me of all the bad things I’ve done.

All my past sins came to haunt me in my mind, condemning me. “How could I even begin to think serving in the music ministry with all the sins I’ve done?! I am not that equipped nor am I worthy!” would be my response. My feeling of musical inadequacy plus my feeling of being too dirty to be used by God kept me from taking that step of faith to audition.

Paul reminds Timothy that if a man (or woman) cleanses himself from their sins, then God can and will use that person. God really isn’t interested about the sins we’ve done, the gods we’ve worshiped or the awards we have collected. God is interested in our present and future. He is interested in you and me and how willing we are to be used by Him, for His purpose.

Paul presents that God will equip us if we respond to the Lord’s call. The first step in responding to God’s call is to repent and ask forgiveness of our sins. It is after that God will begin to equip us for whatever purpose or call He has for you. You’d be surprised at how far you’ll go when you allow God to equip you. I know I was and still am.

Maybe right now you want to join a certain ministry at church, or to start a small group or to simply share your relationship with God to an officemate or friend and you feel just like how I felt: I’m not worthy to be used by God! I’m unequipped! There is surely someone better than me! My friend, if God calls you, then no one is better suited to whatever call He has placed in your heart to do than you. All we have to do is repent, be willing to be used by God and allow Him to equip us.

A good friend told me once that God never calls the equipped, He equips the called. That has proven to be true, take it from a formerly unequipped, unworthy bassist.

The Value on Relational Convenience

We live in a society that highly prioritizes convenience. Things that make life easier. More bang for your buck kinda things. Technology aims to make things highly customizable and multifunctional. Before, mobile phones were big bulky, fiendish looking things that remind me of a handheld ice shaver with little orange screens that display only the numbers. Now, we have multifunctional mobiles that allow you to surf the net, take pictures, update your blogspot and play your mp3s.

Television started out as these black and white boob tubes that displayed only a couple of channels, now we have cable plasma flat screen TVs that display up to 4 (or more) channels simultaneously. Some sets even provide multilingual subtitles. Others come packaged as a home theater system.

The internet and radio stations have joined forces to tailor their broadcasts to your taste. Think a band sucks? Ban them from your station. Love that singer? Place her as a top priority on your preference list. Even some supermarkets and restaurants deliver to your home via internet.

Can't think of a recipe to cook for your fiance? Search the net.

Technology, customer care and the search for the ultimate lifestyle has created a push-button, fast paced, easy living culture.

And honestly, there isn't anything wrong with that.

What IS wrong is that alot of people tend to expect their relationships to follow the same description nowadays. The sanctity of marraige is seen as a traditional, old school concept that does not fit with the "global" way of thought. I've encountered an increase in young people who laugh at the idea of marraige. Apparently, they are more into a trial and error kind of mindset.

"Let's try this relationship. Let's live together. Act as of man and wife but not with the legal responsibilities nor commitments. If it doesn't work out, then lets just pack up and get on with our seperate lives."

Convenience. It's the one thing in life that will never be part of a true, loving, selfless relationship.

Why?

Simply because no true relationship that exists is founded on convenience. Like all relationships, there will always be a honey moon stage (no matter how short) and people tend to close their eyes to(or hide) the imperfections they carry. When the storm hits, so does the reality of the other person's character. Since life does seem to give a ctrl+alt+del solution, it seems logical, and I must say easy, to apply it to one's horrific and seemingly unsalvageable nightmare of a relationship. I mean, why try to fix it when there are a dozen other better looking, financialy stabler men who would are wooing or will woo you right? (Its something like the don't-fix-it-cause-its-gonna-cost-more-than-buy-a-new-one-mentality)

The rate of changing intimate relationships among young people(and some yuppies) is only second to the rate mobile phone models are being manufactured.

Before I go any further, I want to make it clear that I am not against, nor am I attacking the way technology has made our life easier, more comfortable and convenient. What I am concerned about is that the value on relationships are slowly being degraded to the same level as, let's say, the newest mp3 player or the newest MMORPG.

Now, Im not blaming anyone for causing this. What I am saying is that the beauty and romance of an intimate realtionship, and the security and steadfastness overcoming relational problems together is being traded in for the convenience of just breaking up and looking for another boy or girl to satisfy your desire for companionship (and as in most cases, thanks to the cultural change media has programed, physical satisfaction as well).

At the rate this is increasing, I won't be surprised if relationships will be viewed as nothing more than a mere commodity. A product. And when that happens, relationships shall be viewed under the same manner as one views technological products: on the basis of convenience and service it gives the consumer.

If you are in a relationship right now or is hoping to get into one, I really do hope and pray that you value it enought to see it beyond the the storms of life a couple will go through.
Alot of people experience heartbreak and realtional trauma needlessly. Quantity will never equate to quality. Most specially if it is an intimate relationship.

The best way to avoid heartbreak is never to enter a relationship without marraige (to the same person) as the ultimate goal. Forgive me for stating this but a young man told me that he does intend in marrying, hence the relationship, but not with the current girl he was with...

Remember that relationships should never be about only satisfying your needs and wants. Love is never selfish, it is selfless. Accept it or not, but an intimate relationship is also a partnership. A partnership of two lives aiming to make a new one together. A partnership that CHOOSES to love the other despite the fact that the feeling is gone. You can truly sa you love a person if you can say "I love you inspite of..." rather than "I love you because..."

It shouldn't be only about taking, it should be about giving as well.
A true, honest relationship requires two people to communicate honestly with each other. Trust, which is a corner stone in any relationship, can never be achieved without honesty. So many relationships have fallen apart because of the lack of honesty, the lack of trust and simply the lack of communication. Remember that your partner is not a mind reader. Keeping quiet when you are hurt or offended will not deal with the cause of it. Speak up. But remember to time it properly.

Never ever enter into a relationship if you can never fully accept the other person in his or her entirety. A relationship should not force change, but rather create the environment in which change will come naturally.

Sex IS an act of love. It should be done willingly and under the mantle of marraige. Having sex before marraige is becoming the norm as of the last couple of decades. The classic line of "if you love me, then..." has gotten more women divirginized than married. Ladies, if he says that he loves you but can't wait to make love to you, I think you should reasses his statement. If he really loves you, he won't force you to do something you don't want to do. If he is persistent despite the fact that you really don't want to, he lusts you more than he loves you. If you feel the need to satisfy your physical desire and consent to premarital sex, just remember that to every decision there is a resulting consequence, it doesn't always have to physical. And you don't always pays the full price. Honestly, I think there are enough aborted babies and single mothers in the world already.

My friend once told me that loving a person is an act of sacrifice. It got me thinking. Would you view it as an act of sacrifice because you love the person or an act of love? True, sacrifice is a great part of love in any relationship. But does the person in love view it that way?

Like I said earlier, relationships aren't meant for convenience, nor should it be treated in the same way as you would your PC. Relationships aren't meant to be discarded when it starts to hit the rough seas, nor will the trial and error mentality see you through this. Relationships are to be cared for and valued, founded on honesty, trust and love. It should be fought for (if it comes to it) and weathered together. Be it an intimate relationship, which ultimately ends in marraige or your usual let's-hang-together-on-fridays stint, how you handle your relationship shows how you value them.

How would you want people to value you?

Teen Idols, the F Word and the New Generation

Freedom.

I believe this to be one of the most abused and misconstrued words. Freedom. Freedom of speech. Freedom of expression. Freedom. What is freedom? I am honestly at a loss of how it is interpreted today.

Does freedom mean that we can do anything that we see fit and not be held accountable to a greater authority than ourselves? Composers and writers include a myriad of cuss words in their work as a form of freedom of speech. So do the many directors, actors and whatnots who capitalize on skin, sex and the typical joe's desire to escape into the realm of fantasy claim the sanctuary of the freedom of expression.

The sad thing is that these same people who claim the power of freedom, are the same people who are great influencers of the society. Be it speech, character, fashion (or the lack of it)and even outlook on life, these people who carelessly do things in the name of freedom wash their hands of the responsibility of their actions.

So many infulential people, specially actors and musicians, exhibit behavior and antics that are imbedded in to the minds of the young people who grow up accepting that speech, dress or even life paradigm as a norm. Maybe they don't even mean what they do or say in front of the cameras or the microphones, but the children who view them as role models take it as an accepted practise of life.

Alot of TV shows have come out that include allusions to sex, premarital sex, and make out scenes as part of the plot, wherein those events play a central factor to the story (others just use it to make ratings and gather ad placements). Scenes that would have been edited out before are now part of the formula that makes the series sell. Heck, even comedy shows capitalize on sex! As the rating board became lax in relation to sex related scenes and dialogues, so did the number of teen pregnancies, abortions and cheating on relations increase. The number of teens getting divirginized under 18 has increased, and more and more teenagers are viewing relationships as a state of convenience.

I've been counselling teens for the past five years. And every year I can't believe how younger the pregnant teens get and the number of relationships they go through. True, relationships and teens are different topics altogether, but we cannot deny the fact that they are all interconnected. I'll be writing on those two topcis in the following days, but allow me to approach my conclusion...

When influential people abuse the meaning of the word freedom (or interpret it subjectively...) and wash their hands of the effects of their actions (most particularly the effect on their adoring and almost worshipping audience) it is the unwitting public that suffers the most.

Now don't get me wrong. I am not shooting at any person here. It's just a statment of reality. At least for my country. A great number of people who can do something about this either is not aware of this or chooses not to be aware of it, perhaps benefiting from the abuse of freedom as well.

Anyway, I know that this little blog post isn't as neatly done as my others. My apologies. Hunger, traffic and constant YM windows tend to take me out of my concentrated writing zone. Hehehhehe...

Until the next time.

And so the Door Opens...

Welcome to my own little niche on the net!

Before going any further, allow me to say a little bit more about my blogging and myself. I've been blogging for almost three years now. It started out when my friends and I decided to post what was happening in our own little lives as we entered University. Something like a reality based campus blog show or something. Anyway, My So Called UP Life was born, and as it grew, so did my addiction to blogging.

Eventually, some of my friends got hold of my poetry and encouraged me to have it published. Not knowing any book publishers, and accepting the fact that only a handful of people would read, let alone actually buy a poetry book I decided to blog them: A Collection of Sorts is my own mish mash of poetry. Please do check it out, and if any of you like my poetry, please let me know so at least I know that somebody aside from myself reads my poetry! Hehehehe...

So what is The Four String Confessions all about?

Well, its about me and my thoughts. A place where I can be myself and let my inner mind run free. Im sure this little plot of cyberspace will eventually grow into something (like most things in life are wont to do) . But as of this moment it is still in its seed form, pushing out from the ground, trying to find the sweet and warm caress of sunshine.

Who am I?

I am Magoo del Mundo, a graduate of Communication Arts from the University of Santo Tomas and currently pursuing my second bachelor's degree in Musicology from the University of the Philippines. I am a book worm and proud of it! I was weaned on C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkkien at an early age. I love photography and have tried my hand at it from time to time. Im also very much into music and how it interacts, molds, directs and even influences the socio-cultural structure of our country. Currently, I play bass for a little band called Juana. By the way, our debut album is out under Warner Music Philippines, entitled Misbehavior.

That's about it I guess... I'll be posting again in awhile. The smell of a late lunch is calling out to me relentlessly and the fact that I skipped breakfast (a bad habit, I know) isn't really helpful. Get back to you in awhile!

Mizpah!